Maybe They're All on Their Union-Mandated Break

Couple from Louisiana driving on the Park Loop Road in Acadia pull up alongside my husband, the female passenger rolls down her window and says, "Can we ask you a question?"

"Sure..."

The driver calls over, "Are there any animals here? Any wildlife? I been driving all over and haven't even seen a mouse."

What's that Smell?

Group of people walking along the Ocean Path in Acadia. A woman asks one of the men, "Did you find the shark down there?" to which he answers, "No, actually. It must have smelled your bug repellent and left."

Caught Without a Map

Overheard at the summit of Cadillac Mountain in Acadia National Park: "So...where's Cadillac Mountain?"

Leave No Trace

Southern couple walking along carriage road near Duck Brook.

She: "Wow, there are blueberry bushes all over the place here."
He: "Did you eat any?"
She: "No! It says Leave No Trace!"

That's some allergic reaction you got there

Two guys talking on the town pier, one of whom was explaining that he'd stopped drinking. Here are a few overheard snippets:

"It's not like every time I drank I got in trouble, but every time I got in trouble I'd been drinking."

"Since I stopped drinking there's not a lot of reason to come down here anymore. It's a lot of bars ... and overpriced clothing."

And, finally, this exchange:

"I just tell people I'm allergic to alcohol."

Friend: "You're allergic?"

"Yeah. Every time I drink alcohol, I break out in handcuffs."

They probably have their own pier

Sitting on the wall at the Cadillac summit, and a woman, her husband and their dog sit down a few feet away.

Looking out over Frenchman Bay, she asks her husband, "Where do you think the whales come in?"

Looking slightly confused, he says, "I don't know..."

She continues, "...or do you think you have to go see them?"

Been there, seen that

Two older couples are at the Cadillac summit parking area. Three of them are contentedly looking out over the town of Bar Harbor, the exposed bar in Frenchman Bay, and the Porcupine Islands and talking among themselves, but one woman says, after standing there a minute or two, "Let's go." The other woman asks, "What? You're ready to leave already?"

The first woman answers, "You seen one mountain, you seen 'em all. I'm ready to GO!"

They put it there just for us

Two older couples get out of a vehicle with NY plates at the Cadillac summit parking lot. As they get closer to the edge, one of the men says, "Oh look. They even have a town down there."

The other fellow says, "It's Bar Harbor."

The first asks, "What?"

"Pearl Harbor."

Pregnant pause. "You're trying to confuse me, right?"

Looking the Part is Half the Battle

Guy at one end of the bar: "You a guitar player?"
Non-Guitar-Playing Guy at the other end: "No."
First Guy: "You look like a guitar player."
Response: "I could probably play if I tried."

Not Elton John

Overheard in a local bar: "I hated playing piano. But I could have been good. Not Elton John, but good. Plus I probably would have had better looking girlfriends."

Outlaw Town

One waitress to another: "The town doesn't have police anymore because they voted them out. Yeah, it's an outlaw town now. It's awesome The people are raw there."

Do You Deliver?

Employees at a local place of business overheard talking about getting some dinner ...

"Does anyone deliver?"

"They all say they do, but then you call and nobody ever does."

Irritant

Group of seniors settling themselves around a large table in a local fine dining establishment. On one side of the table a man and woman seem to be having more trouble than the others. She says, "You're left-handed, right? You want to sit on the end?" Before he could answer, a woman across the table from them chimes in, "He's only left-handed when he thinks it'll be irritating to the rest of us."

Not the Fake Kind

Woman, to young boy at her table in a local pub restaurant: "You know, your Aunt Teresa was a wrestler. Not the fake kind. She did it for real."

Other woman at the table chimes in, "Yeah, and she was good. She could beat all the boys."

Oh, Waiter ...

Couple at a nearby table order drinks and dinner and are talking normally. She orders a second glass of wine and becomes increasingly animated. The waiter comes by and asks about dessert. She asks about the vanilla bean creme brulee, to which the waiter responds that it's a custard dish, topped with sugar and flamed to create a crispy top. "May I get that for you, ma'am?"

"No, I mean what do they do with the vanilla beans?"

The waiter is somewhat perplexed but answers that the vanilla creates the flavor. "Would you be interested in that?"

In a rising voice interspersed with giggles, she says, "No, no, no, no! I was just ASKING about it! It doesn't mean I want to ORDER it!!"

The confused waiter stood there for a moment and then walked away, apparently not knowing exactly where he should try to take this conversation from here.